Home / Essays / 2016 / March / C.O.A.E.E.(Confessions Of An Emotional Eater)- Week 7

C.O.A.E.E.(Confessions Of An Emotional Eater)- Week 7

This week flew by fast and painfully. My kind of week. I caught a cold, people! A real one this time, not just a tease. Boy, was I happy! I am always looking forward for more obstacles to come my way and slow me down and piss me off! On top of that, I hurt my hand. It started like a small pain in the morning, next thing I know I can't even chop a damn onion because of the damn pain! Worst thing is I have no idea why it hurt or what I did to cause that. No hand stuff, promise! Well, not with my left one, anyway. I managed to stay balanced and pretty happy in the food department, but I had to postpone yoga (because of the wrist) and running (because of the cold).

Monday. Baked eggs in avocados with bacon and salsa.

Snack: one clementine. If you don't know what they are, you have lived in vain. No, I don't have a picture. Google it.

Lunch was the last of the Minestrone soup that was such a life saver and that I have mentioned a LOT!

Snack: Clementine time! They are strong on the vitamin C, you guys. I need loads of that shit!

Dinner was stuffed aubergine and couscous. Lots of veggies in this one and really tasty!

Snack: You know what happened. Come on, there's no point in spelling it out! I'm having a clementine love affair! I'm turning orange, oh nooooo!

The ultimate snack/dessert/post dinner treat/pre-sleep meal : the last piece of the cheesecake. I ate it without the crust. I hate those nuts man. I'm going back to black. Black is evil. Biscuits are evil. See what I did there? Huh? Huuuuh?!

Also, I <3 Jamie Foxx. He is so goddam talented, I can't handle it! Hot sauce in my bag, swag!!! Those lyrics were written for him! I'll have it no other way!

Tuesday. Morning. Ish. Let's call this brunch. I experimented with flour-less pancakes. Eggs, bananas, ricotta cheese, almond meal, vanilla, honey and bicarbonate of soda. A dollop of yogurt, a bit of sour cherry homemade preserve and a bit of passion fruit at the end. Look , they're tasty, really. Thing is I can't help but feel disappointed. They look like pancakes, they almost act like pancakes but they are not pancakes. It's like...La Usurpadoraaaaa! :O If the theme song doesn't automatically start singing in your head then you an I have had very different childhoods. I choose to not feel ashamed of my obscure references from the fascinating world of Mexican telenovelas, so yooooou can suck it!

They were kinda fluffy, more moist than a normal pancake would be, a lot harder to handle when flipping your shit than a regular flour pancake. I am, of course, talking about the "pancakes" and not the telenovelas.The thing is like this: I do not eat pancakes every day, so when I do eat pancakes I want them to be real fucking pancakes. I will try wholemeal flour next time, but that's the last compromise I am willing to make. That, and substituting sugar with honey. Because honey rocks. Signed, Bear.

Lunch was leftover stuffed aubergine and cous cous with the addition of an egg.

Dinner was chicken and noodle hope-it-cures-everything soup.

Wednesday. I planned on having an omelette du fromage, but I only had one egg left, so I went for the next best thing: Semolina and milk "pudding" with orange slices and some sour cherry magic on top. Cause I felt miserable and I wanted a hug in a bowl with cherries on top! Hug me, foood, HUG MEEEE!

Lunch was soup.

Other lunch was wholemeal and rye bread (homemade and delicious!), aubergine spread, ham, cheese and salad.

Dinner. Chicken, cream, leeks, parsnip, carrots, asparagus- The White Stew. Yup, that's what I call it. No, your eyes are not deceiving you, that is polenta.

Snack? One bite of Toblerone. No more. Didn't want any. Now, that felt weird.

Thursday. On-the-run-half-sandwich. Oh, the joy of eating on the road! When did that go out of style?!

Snack was a banana.

Lunch was some of that White Stew I was telling you about.

Snack- pear. Lovely pear!

Dinner was soup. Again. Cause nobody is in the mood to cook when they're sick.

Snack? Slice of bread, aubergine thang, tomatoes.

Yeah, I didn't eat too much, I was too busy being sick! Still sick! Always sick! Forever and ever and ever!

Friday I woke up feeling worse. I was actually sicker! Who would have thought?! After the bath and the pills, and the soup and the tea and the ginger honey AND the sleep, I was actually much worse! That's just a slap in the face, really.

Breakfats (it started as a spelling mistake, but now it makes sense) was leftover semolina pudding with stuff on.

And then this happened:

From left to right we have: magnesium, cinnamon tea, coldrex (blueberry edition) and The Gouda in the middle. You might be wondering why The Gouda? Gouda was there because I find coldrex so utterly disgusting that it makes me puke. After every sip, I take a gouda bite to push back the vomit. Also, because Gouda is the female version of a hustler.

Lunch was not one, but 2 bowls of soup. Yeah, I was trying rrreally hard.

Despite my horrible state and the absolutely dreadful irish weather I had a gal meeting with some gals. Social life is something you work for when you're an expat, so I got off my sick ass and went. I drank a lot of tea and ate half of a mediocre, dry and too sweet piece of cake.

Dinner was chicken at Nando's ! My very first time there! These guys really know their chicken! And their mashed potato is a surprise, it doesn't look like much, but then you put it in your mouth and it's so fluffy and buttery! I think they bake their potatoes instead of boiling them, like we, simpletons do.

Snack? Pistachios, clementine, Nurofen. Yay, let's party.

Saturday. Wrecked.

Spiced milk. Le Pecan. Looney Toones.

Lunch. Frittata with loads of veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, pepper, kale) with garlic bread and avocado and tomato guacamole thing. AAAAAH, gaaaarlic breeeaaad! Insert heavy breathing here.

Note: 3 people shared that bread, so don't go assuming things.

Dinner. Salmon, mashed potatoes, veggies and salad.

Late night snack: Bread, butter, cheese. Clementine.

Sunday. Poppadom with cream cheese and porchetta, frittata and radishes.

Then, I made bread, and apple-pear crumble with wholemeal flour, pecan nuts and no sugar.Yes, I used the Oxford comma right there. In yo' face! Booyah!

Note to self: must remember the ginger in the combo, this was surprisingly yummy, a lot more there than meets the eye.

Lunch. Thank God for frittata! You make it once and it keeps on giving!

Dinner was carbonara.

No asking why, please, it's obvious. That stuff is delicious! The one thing we are having in mind is the old portion control. When it comes to pasta, if you go loosy-goosy on the quantity, your ass goes loosy-goosy too. Ain't nobody gonna be happy about that!

Ladies, fellas, this has been my week. Balance is just around the corner, I can almost smell it!